so...

Haven't been on for almost a week.  I have written every day, but not to a prompt.  Writer's block is slowly ebbing.  Although everything I write still mostly sucks, at least I'm writing at all. If I write anything for the next week it's going to be on foreign policy.  Model UN geeks unite!  After that I get a few chance days at home (partly taken up by math team) before I go to LA and therefore DISNEYLAND with the band.  And life's gotten a little exciting in a good way very recently.

The point is my posts may be a little intermittent for a while here.  Bear with me. :)

-Lily

Not Over Yet- Haiku

It might be hopeful
but I think this Spring break
shouldn't be over yet.

say when

Just say when
when my forgiveness is enough.
Just say when
when you've stopped trying to be tough.
Just say when
when you're ready to face me, ready to feel it.

I don't know
where your mind's at in this place.
I don't know
how long it's been since I've seen your face.
I don't know
why you abandoned your own goal for me to chase.

I miss
laughing with you and smiling
I miss
calling you when I'm crying
I miss
telling you anything.  I'll tell you everything.

I tried to forget
all the pain you put me through.
I tried to forget
all the hard tears that ensued.
I tried to forget
but you haven't forgotten yet.

I know
you feel bad for causing my sorrow.
I know
all I need's for you to pick up your cell tomorrow.
I know
that some people are busy but please don't try to forget me.

Just say when
when you see that what I crave is a friendship.
just say when
when you see losing this is a hardship.
Just say when
when you want to stop avoiding me,
and start forgiving me
for making you
feel so
guilty.

I'm not really sorry though.

Speak

I don’t know what to say,

So speak to me.

Talk until your lips waste away

And your mouth falls off your face.

This conversation isn’t soothing

But I can’t let your words go

Each letter keeps me from drowning.

Speak to me.

I didn’t even call for you.

I only picked your number when she didn’t reply.

But I need you to keep talking because something needs to

Speak to me.

Tug at my heartstrings

‘Cause everything’s numbing.

I want back that feeling.

I want life to speak to me.

10 minutes more…

5 minutes more…

3 minutes more…

Don’t hang up…

*Beeeep*

Kings, Queens, and Jokers

The kings sits proud on his saddening  throne;
doesn't want to believe that he sits alone.
The only company he needs
are the bodies at his feet.

The queen of hearts has forsaken us all.
Ran from the kingdom in the pursuit of the fall
of the plans that never make it
and the people who just can't take it. (the silence)

We call in recruit of the jokers.
We call in recruit of the fallen who got back up.
We call in recruit of those who cite life as a reason to keep on living.
And we call in recruit of those who took death by the hand and told him everything was going to be okay.

The king is in denial of his lonely empty state.
and the queen of hearts is merely sad although she once was bright and great.
So we call in recruit of the jokers--
who are in denial of sadness.

The king moves in small, lumbering steps.
One by one others fall in front of him.
The queen moves predictably, confined to move straight.
She holds the power only to relinquish power at the first sign of trouble.
The jokers knock over the board
and declare that they are not game pieces.

We call in recruit of the jokers,
who may be players but refuse to be played.
We call in recruit of the jokers,
because life is a reason to live.
We call in recruit of the jokers,
to come when they choose and join when they please.

I call in recruit of the jokers,
I who raised the king and loved the queen.
I call in recruit of the jokers,
because in my hour of need--they have never been greater.

Birthday

Prompt #23- Birthday

Another year,
 Time makes things better.
 It's like a new lifetime
 so send one last letter.

 You, brand new--

Left old you a note.
 "We had good times together."
 Is what new you wrote.

 So celebrate!
 Create!
 Leave bad things to fate;
Yank good things to you from their lazy resting place.

 Paint a new year
 and use all your creativity to color it.
 There's no holding back life;
 don’t let weltschmerz* smother it.

 Life!
 That eternal strife.
 We're gonna be ourselves tonight.
 The darkness that we dance in brings light.

 Dance, little girl, dance!
 Everything's in front of you.
 Now is your chance
 to push back what's not true.

Without restraint
comes free fate.
It might be new
But let decisions come later.

Fear doesn't hear laughter
And with love
Laughter comes after.
Make this one day laughterful and fear-free.

Love every moment of it.

*weltsmerz: (welt-schmertz) depression caused by comparing the state of the world to an ideal state

Would a rose by any other name really smell as sweet?

Prompt #1- Names

A name says a lot about a person, or more likely their parents.  There are names like Sally and Richard, indicative of wholesome values and white picket fences (in an age where the name Dick didn’t warrant humiliation).  There are names like Rainbow and Sunshine, courtesy of the good ‘ole ‘70s.  There are names like Stormy, which give a child a career choice of stripper or weatherwoman.  Nigella screams “Whoops, we wanted a boy.”.  And you can always count on a Susan to be reliable.  Where my dad works, in child services, the names Crystal and Nevaeh are called out by distraught ‘Meth moms’.

Lily, my name, says a bit about my parents.  Nature-y, but not too big fans of sticking out.  Artistic, inadvertently trend-following, and altogether not that bad.  Of course, it doesn't tell you everything.  It doesn’t tell you that my artistic mom and dad are now health freaks and baby-snatchers (this name is not usually appreciated in the profession) respectively.  It doesn’t tell you that they both have girlfriends, that I feel my dad is more reliable than my mom, or that money is tight in my family. My name doesn't say much at all below the surface.

So what’s in a name?  Does it say who you are? No, not really.  Does it say who your parents thought you would be?  Only slightly.  Does it create a first impression for others?  No, most people find their final impression of you long before you mouth begins to open to introduce yourself.  Why do you like or dislike the name you’ve been given?  Truly, I’m curious.